I started writing my next blog post in April and now it’s almost the end of May, so you can decipher how that went! Here is what I had started in April:
There is never enough time in the day, the week, the month, or year to get everything my heart desires done. I’ve been away from home the last three weeks working on a big remediation project, this is exactly the kind of stuff I love, but I was struggling a bit with my very human feelings. Sometimes (often), I need to stop and remind myself where I am and find all the things I am grateful for.
Things are falling into place, it seems that as soon as I let go of my fears and decided to take the plunge and be all in with Alex on our plan (notice I said our and not his #growth), things just started falling into place. I went to get a haircut from one of my very good friends and I caught her up on my life, including the pending move and getting ready to figure out how to become a landlord and rent out my house. Later that day she calls me to ask about the possibility of Alex being her three nephew’s realtor and help them find a rental and/or the possibility of them being able to rent out our house. Well, they looked at our house last weekend and decided they definitely want to move in, but their lease is up June 1st and they would like to move in end of May.
Pressure on! I haven’t been home, but we have to be completely cleared out of most of my house by the first week of May so that we can get the house move in ready. Did I mention I’m not home right now?! Furthermore, because we also have to update the house we are moving into, we are actually going to have to stay with Alex’s parents while everything gets squared away.
I see no easy, effortless way to make everything happen, but Alex assures me we will make it happen it because we have to. Sometimes I wish I could be like Adam Sandler in click and fast forward through all the hard stuff and show up for the reward. Don’t we all?! What was the lesson in that movie? Something along the lines of embracing and enjoying all the moments in life because before you know it, life would have passed you by.
I absolutely hate moving, but if I have to think of the moments I enjoyed from the last time me and Alex where in this situation, they are the following:
- Eating pizza over a pile a boxes one last time in our old place
- Driving away for the last time and looking back and feeling nostalgic already
- Enjoying our first dinner and night in a new place
- The satisfaction of knowing you did it! (even if it was only with a few seconds to spare)
- Knowing without a shadow of a doubt that this man loves me, that even when I decide to give up on myself and a seemingly never-ending situation, that he can step back, embrace me, and help me get back up and get the job done as a team.
That is where my started blog post ended. Here I am a month later reading it and it’s bringing tears to my eyes, especially that last bullet. Knowing without a shadow of a doubt that this man loves me. If this month has taught me anything, is knowing without a shadow of a doubt that I love this man too, he is my person through anything and everything, no hidden agenda, just genuinely wants what is best for me. This month was so much harder than I foresaw, for reasons I am not brave enough to talk about, but here I am, one day into being a landlord.
I’m laughing thinking of how done I was so many times this month, how defeated, how broken, how dead I felt, how many unhappy tears. I will spare you all the meltdowns, shenanigans, and things gone wrong for now. Instead, I want to list the moments that brought me to life and let me see the end of the tunnel this month:
- Amazing friends. Friends that brought us a homecooked dinner after a long moving day or my friend that brought me to life on a Saturday by dropping by with my favorite iced coffee.
- My boss who listened, sympathized, and accommodated with the craziness I had going on this month.
- Scout’s clueless silliness and the cats unforgiving grumpiness due to change.
- High-fives and fist bumps with Alex every time we got something done!
- How organized our storage unit ended up.
- Once again, eating pizza one last time, amongst other one last times.
- Finally getting to see those floors we always wanted be installed.
- Referring to all three houses involved as “the house” and having some very confusing and now funny conversations.
- Going through all of it with Alex who was a nonstop machine, not only for me, but his parents. They were moving out of their house and into a new house at the same time as we were moving…correction, they are still moving and he is still helping them! I don’t know how he didn’t have one breakdown or meltdown; he must not be human. He is the best support person I could ask for and I hope to be the same for him.
I know with Alex by my side, we are always going to make it happen. Hopefully we make more happen because we want to and less because we have to.