I cried my whole way home from work today…
I cried because I felt mentally drained in that moment. I’ve been busy with work and things that come up in life, all the while keeping in the back of my mind that I needed to write a blog post because I told myself I would post every week and if I can’t keep a promise to myself, then who can? I feel like I have been falling behind, but I’m working on catching up and none of it really has to do with a blog post at all.
I know there are so many things going on in the world and I almost feel silly for feeling like this. Coming home is usually a sanctuary, but it’s been havoc these days. Every day I’ve gotten home this week it’s been progressively worse, it’s always something and today I didn’t even have to get home, Alex messaged me as I was getting ready to leave work.
We had a pending conversation about Scout because she seems to be regressing in her training and treatment of our home. She started by nipping at our shoes and nibbling at our couch and pillows. We adjusted by starting to always pick up our shoes and we tried to communicate as best we could that the furniture isn’t for chewing. We got her more toys, even a subscription to bullymake (pricey, but worth it for the quality and fun designs). Tried longer walks and Alex has even recently tried more intensive walks by walking her while he rides his bike so they can go at a faster pace than they can while walking.
All of this has been to no avail, she has destroyed everything!
Okay, she hasn’t really destroyed everything, but she has definitely done major damage. One good thing is that because of the pandemic no one is really coming over these days, so they can’t see my patchwork. We kept giving her chances because we didn’t want to hinder her, she has a large personality and no one puts baby in a corner! It’s hard to ignore her loving personality and it hurts my heart knowing she will be locked up in a kennel all day while we are at work. It really is like any other relationship that we have to work on; I want to tell Scout that I love her, but I don’t like her very much right now, not that I don’t like, but that I don’t appreciate that she has destroyed things that we work hard for and that we go to work to build our home and provide for her and her three cat siblings. I cried on my way home because I can’t communicate that with Scout and when we put her in the Kennel she is going to tilt her head and give us that cute confused face that is going to melt my heart…but we have to go back to square one. I don’t want her to be unhappy and to hate us.
Apparently today is also national dog day and I feel horrible for not having the urge to immediately post a cute picture of Scout. I never thought a relationship with my dog was going to have this depth. All of this and I still wouldn’t give up on her, but I’m definitely open to any ideas and suggestions from veteran dog parents, we need all the help we can get!